Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind...I Need A Shower

One of the things I have valued as a husband and father is creating memories.  You know the type I'm talking about.  Think back to your childhood when your family took that special trip or the day you were surprised with the perfect gift.  One of my favorites as a boy was the Christmas I knew I was getting a real train set.  I can still remember it all wrapped in a green foil wrapping paper with a giant red bow.  The train set is long gone but the memory is still very strong.



For my kids, some of our fondest memories are our vacation trips on a cruise ship, or taking my pre-teen son on a weekend hobo trip in the car to our favorite amusement park.  Asking my daughter for a date and we both got dressed up and had a formal night. 

For my wife, finding the perfect resort, or taking those many spontaneous weekend road trips before the kids came in the picture.

These things I've listed may very well sound like many of the experiences you have shared in your life.  But there is another side to making memories.

In the midst of a tense situation, family crisis or clenched teeth, what type of mental imprint am I making as a husband and father.  I don't claim to walk on water and I admit many times I've had to eat humble pie.




One thing my family seems to have a tendency to do is impact an automobile with a garage door.  The first time was with our son and my Jeep.  He was beside himself and I'm sure it was one of the worst days of his life.  Thoughts like 'dad is gonna kill me,' or 'I should just run away and join the foreign legion' were running through his head.  With me not being home at the time of the incident my wife challenged me to consider his feelings and what great remorse he was feeling.  I prayed before I got home and than had to confront my son on this situation.  The look in his eyes said how sorry he was.  After assessing the damage, I looked directly at him as asked him if he was OK?  I hugged him, told him I loved him, and said garage doors and cars can be replaced but he couldn't.  We worked through the repairs and I will cherish that opportunity as a great memory.

Did I mention I have often eaten humble pie?  A few months later I hit the same garage door with the same jeep.  "Wait, I'd like a second slice of pie."  A few years later I hit the garage door on our next home with the same jeep.  My son had such a good time giving me a hard time.

Today, my wife stepped up to the plate and took her turn to hit our garage door with her car.  Honestly I did feel upset inside at the situation but I knew it was an accident.  I told her to head off to work and I started to fix the door.  A couple of hours later it was back to normal.  God reminded me that this was another opportunity to create a memory.  After I was done, I texted my wife and said 'The garage door is fixed.  Love is patient, love is kind....I need a shower!'

As a younger man, in my day, I would loose my cool and create a bad memory for my family.  I'm so thankful that I hugged my son, that I texted my wife, that I have a great family.

 

The First To Apologize Is The Bravest

The First To Forgive Is The Strongest

The First To Forget Is The Happiest

Oh, by-the-way, did I mention that my daughter is our most recent driver in the family and has not hit any garage door yet?  If that day comes, and I suspect it will, I plan to hug her and remind her she is more valuable than the car or garage door; she is loved.

Running A Marathon Alone

Summer is coming to a close. I'm certain I'm seeing hints or red and orange leaves on trees.

As I reflect on the summer and all my endeavors, I'm evaluating what was excellent, what was typical in results & of course, what was less than stellar.

My summer initiatives included:
1. Planning & directing summer camp.
2. Spending another week at a camp for foster children.
3. Completing my college courses.
4. Building a team for Upward Sports coming in 2013.
5. Secure plans for a new playground.
6. Finalize remodeling plans for the preschool department.
7. Head a fundraising initiative.
8. Take my ordination exaam.
9. Coordinate a community kids health care fair.

Now I also managed to get in a family vacation to Alaska and a few camping trips just to keep things in balance.

This is the time of year that I can really appreciate things going back to a routine. No big projects or initiatives for a few months. Ministry seems to always prompt me to feel I'm running in a marathon race and know I have to pace if I'm going to go the distance. But doesn't a marathon involve others running in the same race? Well yes it does but if you ask any runner, they will share how they often get into a mental zone where you are aware of others around you but you also feel a sense of 'aloneness' as you go the distance. I'm finding that just like a runner who gets to a point where they don't know what keeps them going but describe it as euphoric - I find a similar sense in what I pursue with a passion.

I know that what I do can be exhausting but it is also done with passion. It involves me working with many people yet at times everyone fades from view as I press on. A marathon runner finds an adrenilane-euphoric rush. I find strength in God. I am compelled to keeps moving, to keep going, to finish my race to the end.

Indeed, I run at a marathon pace but I'm so ever thankful that I never run alone!

Trusting To Let Go

'You can do it Jimmy. Just jump off. Don't be afraid, you won't fall!'

I had the pleasure to spend a week directing a kids summer camp. One area I enjoyed most was working at the zip line area. It was called an 'encouragement zone' in which both riders and spectators were only allowed to speak words of encouragement.

There were three challenges at this activity: 1-put on a harness, 2-climb a 29 foot ladder to a platform (they are attached to a tether line for safety), 3-jump off and travel along the tree tops on a 900 foot cable. While most every kid handled all three challenges very well, one only got on a harness then backed out and a few climbed up to the platform but then climbed down.

What was amazing is that every kid, no matter what challenge they completed were strongly encouraged and congratulated by their peers.

In stark contrast, when we make attempts in life and have to turn around or backtrack we often face ridicule, feel shame, long to hear someone encourage us.

I learned a lot this summer. Kids are remarkable. They trusted the harness. They trusted the instructor. They trusted the cable. Eventually they trust by letting go.

Take a look at many of the things that cause you concern. Do you keep hold of things because you don't know how to let go? Has it become such a familiar challenge to you that you no longer realize it is holding you back from joys in your life?

Like I said, I learned a lot from these kids. They stood on the edge of a platform facing a big challenge. By eventually letting go of their fear, not allowing it to paralyze them resulted in great joy and a sense of accomplishment.

What will you let go of today so you can begin to enjoy the ride?

Mistakes Happen

Wow did we blow it!
Wow did I blow it!

We all fall into certain personality types.  I tend to want things in order, well thought out and anticipate any potential problems and have plans in place for every scenario that could take place.  As a leader I need to make sure that I am casting a vision of those plans to my teams.  So what do I do when somehow a mistake takes place?  Did I fail to plan?  Did I get caught by surprise?  Was it something beyond my control?

I choose to take my failures and dissect them like a CSI agent.  I think failure creates a great classroom of learning.  But just being in the classroom is not enough.  I have to be a good student in the room and really want to learn.

THE PROBLEM - Recently a visitor to my department had a poor experience and poor reception.

THE CAUSE - No one was able to help resolve their concerns, no one was present to answer their questions.  No one valued their presence.

THE IMMEDIATE RESULTS - In the end, they left frustrated and not sure if they would ever return.

THE CHANGE - As the department head it is my responsibility to respond quickly.  I need to gain an understanding of the situation and take appropriate action.

THE RESPONSE - My guest did not deserve the experience they received.  It is certain that they formed a mental report card in which a failing grade has been assigned.  It's time for me to try and earn some extra credit and get a passing grade.  There is something here for my team and I to learn!

Some leaders may choose to identify blame or cast off the problem to another person (in my case, a volunteer.)  Leadership takes the courage to face challenges head-on and great leadership must possess a sincere desire to improve their level of service and excellent leadership learns to respond appropriately with sound judgement.

It's easy for any organization to advertise that all guest will have an excellent experience.  But if the organization oversells and under-delivers the end user can feel betrayed.  Utopia is a rare place and elusive to all.  How then do we respond when an eventual breakdown occurs.  Even Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, must have a daily onslaught of guests that may voice their opinion when something went wrong.  How do they prepare and plan for this - guest relations.  Empowered representatives that can be empathetic and take appropriate action should be part of the plan.  If they can convey a personal touch with a sincere apology where it's due, there is hope that the guest's opinion can be turned around.  How refreshing is it when an organization accepts responsibility if it failed to deliver what it mission statement said it would do, and then goes many steps further to try and gain back the trust of respect of its guest?

In my situation, I took full responsibility for the failure of my team members and myself.  I offered a sincere apology and statements of empathy.  I asked for another chance to make a great first impression and extended a personal opportunity to meet with my guest face-to-face to try and earn their respect.

It does not end there.  I need to make sure that we, as a team, share our experience and buy-into a revised plan so that the problem does not recur.  Follow-up and team meetings are scheduled.

Failure does not define us, but failure is a classroom that we must learn in if we want to move ahead in leadership.

Military

Most people are not aware that some people who serve to protect our freedoms in the U.S. military are not citizens of the United States. I was one such example. Serving in the flight school that trained flight crew for the B52 Stratofortress Bomber and KC135 Tanker. Those were some very exciting times!

During my first 3 years in the USAF I was a citizen of The United Kingdom. During my last year I did become a U.S. citizen.

Along these lines I'm so grateful that I did not have to meet certain conditions before I could join the family of God. I did not have to change before 'signing up' to be a Christian. Although I eventually left the military, I will always be a veteran. I have no plans to leave the family of God, and I signed-up for life - I will always be a Christian!

What Are The Results Of Prayer

How long do pastors pray daily:
America - 22-39 min
Japan - 44 min
Korea - 90 min
China - 120 min

It's not surprising that the growth rate of churches in each of these countries is directly proportional to the amount of time pastors are spending in prayer.

7 Habits of Highly Effective Pray-ers

1. Effective pray-ers have their hearts in order.
2. Effective pray-ers have their houses in order.
3. Effective pray-ers are persistent.
4. Effective pray-ers maintain an eternal perspective.
5. Effective pray-ers have an expectancy that results in boldness.
6. Effective pray-ers pray according to the will of God.
7. Effective pray-ers recognize the seasons of the soul.